Tinder Date Complains of Man Skatting on Beach in Tomales Bay
Local man, Bradley _____, was seen in a passive aggressive argument with his Tinder Date early this morning at Pita Beach, where he supposedly was busted burying his skat beneath the high tide mark, in the fluffy sands of the Tomales Bay, CA, shoreline. As the conversation heated up, one could hear Mr. ______ describe his predawn skat routine with the upmost detail, articulating that “it doesn’t always come so easy, and when it does, I need to just enjoy it.”
Due to the hordes of boat-in-campers that flock to the beaches on the chilly bay just north of San Francisco,, the National Park Service supplies plenty of signage to inform persons the-likes-of Bradley to “Pack-It-In, Pack-It-Out,” “Leave-No-Trace,” and “This-Means-You! [Icon with red-slash-circle and pile of skat].”
Tinder Date must have had quite the sight rolling over in her sleeping bag, finding her new temp-partner missing, unzipping the door, and witnessing Bradley at full on squat, a mere few meters away, feet buried in wet sand. Her side of the argument was accompanied with eye-rolls, red cheeks, and “whatever dude”s.
At one point you could hear voices elevate as Bradley pointed out the rising tide, “it’s going to be under water within hours!” But Tinder Date wasn’t having it, “that’s just gross man. You were like ten feet from my head.” Bradley’s rebuttal was fair, “Where else is there to go? Would you have me march through that tick infested lush green grass over there and hide behind a tree? Are you prepared to come to my rescue as I get mauled by a skat curious elk? No, I thought not!.”
The two were last seen paddling into the distance, with Tinder Date in the lead.
Bradley would later then wonder if Tinder Date collected his skat in the plastic bag he saw her toss in the launch ramp parking lot trash bun.
