Brendon M_______, an interview from 2016.
Crazy. Debauchery. Disrespect. Immoral. Drunk. Drugged. Sloppy. Dangerous. Risky. Fun. Crazy.
These are the terms I would have labeled Brendon with, back when we were on a 378, out of San Diego California. Brendon M____ had more influence on my life in the Coast Guard than anyone. And that puts him as the perfect candidate for my first field interview.
I met with Brendon recently in a café near the University of California Berkeley. He lives close by in an apartment where he spends much of his time between multiple chef jobs. The rest of his time he spends in pain from an injury he incurred after jumping out of a three story window. Pot and pills seem to help with that though.
It was good to see him. I’ve been in touch with him on a normal basis since we first met back when he joined the Coast Guard in 2003. Back then I was a teenage buck and he was nearly 30. I had been in the guard longer, though he had access to booze, life stories and great music. Brendon was the guy who convinced me that Jerry Garcia was God, that heroin isn’t necessarily bad, and that it’s ok to just have one more.
I asked Brendon in our interview: Do you think the public has an accurate idea of what being a sailor is?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Because in reality it is boredom. Being a sailor is about sitting around waiting.
Q: How does that affect mindset?
A: Well, it’s---it made a lot of people think they were very important. Instead of realizing their job was important, they thought it was they that were important.
Brendon left the Coast Guard on bad terms. He had served five years, most of the time he was in the galley, and he left rated as a cook. After the guard he signed up for his Z Card and found a Maritime Head Hunter and signed up in the Merchant Marines on a barge in the Panama Canal.
A: Panama City was a beautiful city. Work was hard but I had a really great boss.
Q: What about the work?
A: It was just hot. It was my first job out of the military. It’s a whole different world. I wasn’t used to having that type of freedom.
Q: You liked the freedom?
A: I had a hard time with it. It was overwhelming. There was no --- there was very little structure, and I really didn’t know how to behave anymore. Being in the military is like being in jail, you’re not in the real world.
Brendon’s recklessness wasn’t spawned by the military. I’ve heard his stories and I’ve formed my own argument. Many people go to sea, or in Brendon’s case join the Coast Guard, because they are in need of a different life. They are in a very real way running from their past. Sailors experience social isolation, it is part of the culture and it is a dream people have when they look to go to sea. Shipping out is escaping. I think Brendon used the Coast Guard to escape those relationships and habits that he formed throughout his twenties, and he joined the Merchant Marines to continue his growing connection with the sea. I poked and prodded Brendon into giving me a more mystical and descriptive version of his adventures by the water, but his responses came back bland, monotone and straight. Brendon was a madman when I was stationed with him. His voice was excitement and his mannerisms told fairytales. Something’s changed over the years. Though, to spend 6 years on the water is certainly life changing. The one spark I saw in Brendon’s eyes was in response to:
Q What is your favorite part of a ship and what is your favorite time to be on watch?
A: I love the smoke-deck at sunrise.
